Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Getting Older Sucks - Women Against Aging!

So I’m coming to some sad realizations that I’m growing up. Listen, there are some pretty great things about being older and maybe I’ll make another post about the happy things another day, but today I’m going to focus on some negative ones because that’s just the kind of mood I’m in.

Do you remember the good ol’ days when in your mind you were virtually invincible? Do you remember when your body was hardly affected by anything and you could just bounce back in no time? The days when you could stay up all night eating every form of junk food imaginable and still be able to function the next day? Well those days seem to be slowly fading from my memory.

I’ve recently had my 24th birthday and it’s really hitting me that time is going fast and that in a blink of an eye I could be that older lady with the front bum, saggy boobs and wildly outdated style. What a SCARY thought! I realize that some of you who are reading this are older than me, I realize that I could be being a little dramatic here and that I’m “Still Young” and “Only 24!” or “Haven’t Seen Anything yet”. Let us not point fingers today and compare who’s older or younger, who’s boobs are saggier, who’s stretch marks are larger or who has the most obvious wrinkles. Let us join together today as WOMEN of all ages AGAINST AGING!

Now for my rant of reasons why getting older SUCKS! Maybe some of you will be able to relate.

Alright, so it makes me REALLY mad/sad that I can no longer get away with eating what I want when I want it and not have to deal with the repercussions. I have been lucky and have never really had to worry about my weight much, I was never crazy skinny, but I was a good healthy size and I was happy with it. Well that healthy size has since turned into not so healthy or cute for that matter! Suddenly those fries I love to eat are catching up with me and my butt is strangely beginning to mimic the texture of that berry crisp I ate over the weekend. I blame this on my age and my slowing metabolism. CURSE YOU!!! It really makes me mad, because it’s not going to be an easy change for me to suddenly be cautious of every calorie that enters my body and it’s not going to be easy to fit a good work out into my schedule. The more I worry about it, the more I want to eat! I love food and I love being lazy! There, I said it! It’s just not fair and I know it’s just going to get worse! Getting older SUCKS!

It really bugs me that I now have to be so conscious about every aspect of my health. I couldn’t have cared less about my health when I was a teenager, but now there are so many illnesses, conditions and unwanted physical features that haunt me that I’m forced to change my ways! Cancer seems to loom around every corner, I’m always feeling around for suspicious lumps and bumps! I drink more milk out of fear that my bones are going to break, yet not too much because I don’t want to get fatter! I now worry each time I crack my fingers or back that I am setting myself up for crippling arthritis! I’ve become a fan of anything pomegranate, blueberry and any other berry they seem to be coming up with these days because of the “Antioxidants”, I DON’T EVEN REALLY KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!! I have never been real great at washing my makeup off at night, I generally just wait to wash it off in the shower the next morning, now I worriedly examine my face after being told that this is going to cause early signs of aging! I drink an annoying amount of water each day at work causing me to pee practically every hour because I want my skin to be healthy, young and moisturized and I want my metabolism to speed up. I’m getting more into the habit of flossing my teeth each day because I’m terrified of having to get dentures by the age of 30! I could go on, but you get my point! I swear all this worrying is going to put me into an early grave, WHICH IS THE THING I’M TRYING TO AVOID IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!! Man, it SUCKS getting older!

I know, I still have so much more to look forward to! The after-baby-body, the varicose veins, the wrinkles, my nose and ears getting bigger (Seriously? WHY DOES THIS EVEN HAPPEN?), the floppy relief society arms and I can’t forget the menopause. Aren’t I lucky. All I have to say is that it’s a good thing that Heavenly Father gives us some things to be happy about in between all this CRAP, but I don’t feel like talking about happy things today. I’m sorry if this post has depressed you, it’s been a rough day. Please feel free to join me in my rage against aging!


Suzanne Lee said...

Haha! That was a lot of fun to read. Jem I think you are right in so many ways, but just remember moderation in all things :)
If I can say something positive about your negative post, it is that you should be happy you are aware of these things, and would want to do something about it!
Getting flabby RS arms is a great fear of mine!
Anyways I just had Submission on my lunch and it made me think of you! That place is yummy.

Amy said...

Hey! I found you guys on Wade and Brookes blog... Im going to add you to my list so I can keep watching. Mines private, if you want to see it email me.

gekane said...

You are hilarious Jemaica! Unfortunately I can relate and join you in the frustration! Getting old sucks!!

salmons said...

hey i didn't know you had a blog!! you fart face you didn't even tell me!!!

Cassie and Mason Green said...

wow, that is really funny that you blogged about this because it was just last night i was standing in front of my mirror naked wondering who the HELL's body was being reflected back?? I Look like I have been attacked by some sort of bear clause or something! Not to mention the extra 30 pounds ( as i shove another handful of chips in my mouth) that have been added recently. But your right heavenly father has good things come out if it... When i look as Cash it somehow makes it all worth it!!

Angie said...

Jem... hahahahaha.... I am laughing my head off right now. I join with you though! I love it =)